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The Dog's Diary
 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! |
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit
on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the
food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in
an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top
of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing
to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I
observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
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